In the Beginning,
There was Fire.
And the Humans saw it as Good.
Their civilization grew and spiraled outwards.
Overtaking forest and brush.
And on the second Day they discovered Coal.
The Humans saw that it was better.
On the Third Day they found oil.
Their numbers spiraled to astronomical numbers.
3 Billion, 6 Billion, 12 ... to the moon and beyond.
And then, on the Fourth Day, the Oil began petering out.
There came onto them a prophet of salvation from the North
Speaking of wonderous sands.
To tune of: Ghostbusters (1984)
Turn the Beat on ON (here real.player)
(Moodsetter...)
Doh doh duh, Do,
Dubya, Dubya; Boo!
Republic-busters…
If there's somethin' strange in your GLOBAL hood
Who ya gonna call?
...Republic-busters!!!
If it's somethin' crony an' it don't look good
Who ya gonna call?
...Republo-busters !!!
(Doh duh do Do,
Dubya, Dubya Boo!)
I ain't afraid a no Republi-cyst
I ain't no Republi-poligist
If you got mixed messages spinnin' thru your head
Who's gonna be fair?
... Republi-busters !!!
An' Invisible Hand sleepin' in your bed
Oh! Who can ya tell?
Republi-busters!!
(Doh doh duh dah Do,
Dubya, Dubya Dubya, Boo!)
I ain't afraid a no Republi-cyst
I ain't afraid a no Republo-mist
Who ya gonna tell?
(republi-busters)
If you're all alone, pick up the phone
An call .... (republi-busters)
I ain't no Misagno-NIST
Ooh I hear they like the girls
I ain't afraid a no Republi-pissed
Yeah Yeah Yeah
(Doh duh Do,
Dubya, Dubya Boo!)
Ow wooo!!!
(clink clang jail door bang
catch 'em, jail 'em, dang)
Bustin' makes me feel good ...mmm
Oh yeah
(Doh duh Do,
Dubya, Dubya Boo!)
Don't get caught alone,
oh no
… republi-busters!
A bunch of good'ole boys take their fishing-for-answers gear up to the situation room.
They claim they was in there all that time fishing for answers.
They weren't fishin' for right answers. They were coddling and cronying up with each other. They were incompententating with each other. It's disgusting what they was doing.
The Lemming Appreciation of Leadership Award (LaLa #2) in the category of "leadership unbecoming" goes to Brownie, Bushie and Cherrytoffy for conduct above and beyond BrokeFEMA Mountain. Unfortunately they cannot accept the award tonight because they're at it again. Here to recieve the award on their behalf is Scott McLietellin. Come on up Scott and get your come up'ins.
Nominations are coming in for the LaLa's.
(Lemming Appreciation of Leadership Awards)
This category is for anti-leadership, for not staying the course.
To understand why George Clooney deserves it, go here
In our prosperous lemming holes there are many who wail the name of God.
You humans may find kinship with some of our worshipping brothers.
Take for example those of our lemm-folk who worship Alla-Lemm AchBear. They say that the God inside their mind is the one and only possible God. There can be no other. All lemmings must obey his word or perish. The name and image of his holy prophet, Moe-had-Lemm must never be disrespected. If they sense anything that smells of disrespect, they go into a wild rage, burning things and caving in other lemming's tunnels. It is the will of their God.
Another faction of our Lemming Brotherhood worships Jee-Lemm Christopher and claim that he, rather than Moe-had-Lemm is the true prophet of God. The Jee-Lemm worshippers have a God who is shaped differently from the one and singular Alla-Lemm AchBear. The Jee-Lemm God has three heads. His follwers call the triune heads: The Paternal, The Offspring and The Holy Spirit. Jee-Lemm was the Offspring. You can't see or touch The Holy Spirit. You just got to believe.
Sometimes the Jee-Lemm worshippers go on "Holy" Crusades against the followers of Alla-Lemm AchBear. Sometimes the followers of Moe-had-Lemm go on "Holy" Jihads against the worshippers of Jee-Lemm. As they go about killing each other and destroying the world, their tongues wail the name of God.
He who brought you Atta-Boy Brownie once again asks you to trust him by looking deep into his compassion-filled blues eyes.
He knows goodness when he sees it.
He knows that it is "GOOD" to shut American and British companies out from servicing "our" ports.
He knows that it is "GOOD" to invite into the hen house the Islamo-foxes who swear there is no God but their God and they will kill us if we do not unconditionally accept Allah (blessed be his name).
He knows that it is "GOOD" to ponder plentifully the plundering of our ports.
In Bush we trust. All others pay homage to his holy name. Amen.
Birds of a same feather, it is said, flock together.
Some birds meet at the watering hole.
We have a Grand Old Party Time.
Ya all drop down now. Hear?
In our history-wide search for
The Lemming Idol,
for the "Stay the Course" leader
who most deserves the coveted prize, namely,
the Lemming Appreciation o' Leadership Award
(the LaLa), we came upon a fundamental truth:
The Lead to the Ledge is not a function of the "Who",
but rather of the Times and of the Missed Turns along the Road of History.
Almost all Leaders are "Stay the Course" ones.
It is those who by ill chance, fall into the lead just as the course of history hits an inflection point, who become acursed.
It is they who must bear the "Mark of Cain", the "blame" for having been a bad leader in a time of "crisis", when in truth almost all leaders would have done the same.
It was not Cain's fault that he saw not the shift
away from a man-powered vegeterian life style
(being a tiller of the soil, a life style he considered "non-negotiable")
to an alternate life style that his rancher brother, Abel, was adopting.
No wonder that Cain became enraged with jealousy when the animal-powered, rancher life-style (sheep herding) outdid the old ways of the soil tiller. Cain had missed an inflection point in the marketplace. He lashed out in the only way he knew how. He liquidated some of his human assets. And for that he was punished with the fickle pointing finger of "blame", with the Mark of Cain forever imprinted as his exclusive trademark.
(The real Abel, by the way did not disappear. He came out of bankruptcy under a new trade name, Seth. The Sethians flourished. They domesticated yet more of the beasts beyond just the sheep. They learned to work with copper and iron. They yoked the oxen and bade them to do all manner of man's work. In time, the beasts of burden were replaced by a petro-powered progeny that made the children of Cain, Abel and Seth more "productive" than they had ever been before. They felt as if they had gained "dominion" over the earth and the sky. Dazzled by their own brilliance, by the unbounded power of an Abel human mind, they were ready to rocket on to new conquests. They had lost sight of where all the energy had come from. Their self-esteeming inner light blinded them from seeing the next inflection point (the "Peak") a coming their way. It deluded them into belieivng that the marketplace, the worship of a Smithian God, will always provide. None was his brother's keeper and each clawed and tunneled only for his own self gain. But that is a story for another day.)
It is only the rare and brilliant leader who realizes we are at a point of inflection in the affairs of things and who can turn the herd and guide them away from the cliff.
And what, we ask you, is the reward of such a leader? The herd barely notices. Fame goes to those who lead the glorious charge over the ledge, to Pearl Harbor and beyond. Glory comes to those who edge the millions to their deaths under the guise of an "unavoidable" war against an "evil" enemy, or a "catastrophic" turn of events that no one could have foreseen, not even Cassandra.
Tis the season to hand out awards.
The humans worship their Great Pretenders (a.k.a. "actors"). Soon they will be passing out golden ape statues (a.k.a. "Oscars") to each other for having fooled themselves into believing that something fake (staged) is actually real. It is the ultimate achievement of the human brain to celebrate fakery, delusion and denial in such magnificent style. We lemmings applaud them.
Not to be out done, we hand out Lemming Appreciation of Leadership Awards.
The Golden Rodent statue is not passed out on whim or whip of a tail. Each category deserves great consideration before we acknowledge a ledge mate who has led the charge for glory and a new dawn (or for a cliff down or a river drown).
Categories for LALA's (Lemming Appreciation o' Leadership Awards) are many. Most coveted is the STC-LALA: the "Stay The Course"-Lemming Appreciation o' Leadership Award.
We lemmings are very egalaterian. Any human, animal or extra-terrestrial, who led a large portion of his/her species toward the edge or beyond can qualify for a "Stay the Course" LALA. There are so many worthy candidates to choose from, past, present and fictional.
Nominations are now open and subdivided among a number of important categories: (1) Politicians, (2) Cult Leaders, (3) Biblical Figures, (4) Business Leaders (5) Entertainment Leaders, and (6) TBD: To Be Determined
There was a time when the human species was small in population and faced attack from predatory animals.
Evolution then favored those who possesed genes that fostered the Herd / Mob instinct.
The weak and isolated apes would gather into a frenzied mob and hurl stones at the attacking carnivore.
Had each primate engaged in rational thought about danger to the self, the mob would have never formed. Evolution found a way to reward those whose genes allowed mob mentality to override rational thought.
That was then. This is now.
We see in the picture to the right, a mob of humans attacking Egyptian police officials because a ferry sank and loved ones were lost in February 2006. The mob attack will not bring the loved ones back. The mob attack will not drive away predatory carnivores.
And yet it is there. Deeply etched into the makeup of the human critters.
Genes that once worked to preserve the species now drive it over the edge.
According to an updated Forbes report, at least 73 of the human creatures have been counted as dead.
It was the desire for private wealth, for winnning the WOWwo WEE lottery that drove them into the maddening frenzy.
Meanwhile, in another story relating to human over population, the chase for survival and for earning a living in this mad, mad world, the British Telegraph reports over 1000 human critters killed in mass drowning incident. We Lemmings empathize with you humans. Many of us die in stampedes, mass drownings and other over-the-ledge runs for survival's sake. I guess we share many attributes, no?
The children feel safe when they know that those with courage to stand up for truth and justice are on board.
And so it came to be on the eve of the Emperor's State of the Empire Speech that the Robed Ward entered the magical chamber to join forces with the Lion Defender of Ly'in and Spy'in and to do battle against the White Witch of Sheehania.
The Witch of Sheehania was always bitching about her lost boy. She failed to see the magic of Christmas and of the White Washing. Her T-Shirt was dark and carried a gruesome number: 2,245, the number of the beast.
Our children need to be protected from such horrid realities. So the Lion sent his forces of good up into the Galleries to remove the thou-protest'ith too much Witch from the festivities.
Praised be the Lord and the Lion. The Emperor's speech came to be delivered without a hint of the Witch's Warnings. The children went to sleep happy and safe that night.
And the Generals proudly wore their We-Don't-Symbolize-Anything Costumes. All in all, it was alovely evening.
They arrested Cinderella Sheehan for trying to wear a pinko anti-war T-shirt under her conservative debutant's costume while attending the President's Oil Barrons' Banquet last night by invitation.
On first blush, that sounds fair and balanced. After all, who is she to wear an outfit that sends a policy-challenging message for all the "common people" to see? (Big deal that her son died for the "Noble Cause".)
On the other hand, there were lots of other folk at the Bush SOTUS Banquet wearing all kinds of funny, policy-supporting costumes. There were soldiers garnished in hawkish Army and Navy costumes. There were Supreme Court judges robed in fake, fair and balanced togas. It was just Cinderella's obtrusive fashion message that was adjudged out of style. Maybe it was Cinderella's slippers? Perhaps they were magical glass ones that out-shined the Emperor's Robes?
Sheehan story with photos here
Sometimes, We the People, forget who owns the powers and gave "limited" amounts, with checks, balances and right of reclamation to them who think they can re-attain "Nobility" by threat of terror, by proclamation of "inherent" powers, or by other means of mental manipulation and evasion.
I appreciate ya all came here ta hear talk bout the state of our Union.
I looked inta the eyes of our Union and Ah found goodness there.
So it's good.
It's all good.
Those of ya that got more improtant things ta do now, like catching the latest Nascar race scores, well ya can get along now dogs cause I already told ya it's all good. I do this under my inherent and unitary powers as Commander and Chief of the Universe. So when I speak, ya know it's basically as good as God speakin ta ya all. I appreciate that you took time to listen and the Higher Father appreciates it too.
Now I also appreciate that some of you might not fully appreciate it when I tell you everything is good. Some of you might have unpatriotic thoughts about our victory in Iraq. Some of you might have uncountryman-like thoughts about our handling of Katrina. Some of you might unconstitutionally question my picks for the Supreme Court. Sure we have had some tough times, but the State of our Union is getting better all the time. These are opportunities and I aim to take advantage, to spend my political capital on these opportunities. I aim to challenge TERROR-IZM wherever it rears it's ugly head.
Behind you.
See?
I made you look.
Deep in your heart of hearts you know the fear lurks there. Karl told me to take advantage of your most primitive fears and I appreciate what Karl says. I see TERROR-IZM. I see TERROR-IZM everywhere. Seeing TERROR-IZM everywhere is good fur ya. It sharpens the mind and dulls the wit. We've got to be united and strong in our world wide fight aginst all this TERROR-IZM. We've got to have a coalition of the willing and the patriotic to stand up to all this TERROR-IZM.
We are the YOU-KNIGHTED STATES of AM-erica and we will not be pushed around. We will find TERROR-IZM wherever we choose to find it and we will preemptivley strike out against the TERROR-IZM over there so we don't have to fight it over here. All this is logic pure and simple.
I appreciate that some of ya think yar intellectuals. Some of ya think yar smarter than me. John Kerry thought he was smarter than me. But he hadn't played Cowboys and Intellectual Heads against me. He didn't realize that he was going to vote for me after he thought he voted against me. He should of talked to my friends at Diebold. They would of told him.
So you see my friends. The Sate of Union is good. Good Night and God Bless (me).
We blame others for being what they are.
But did they have a choice?
Did they choose to be what they are or was most of it preordained by the birth lottery? Did they pick their parents? Did they pick the culture they would be brought up in? Did they pick the religion they would follow? Did they pick the history that surrounds them? Did they pick the framework in which they see the world?
So why do we blame them (and not ourselves)? Why do we fail to understand that they are victims of their circumstances much as we are of our own?
Course of course this web blog is kind of a joke. We pretend to be lemmings, intelligent lemming scientists who study the human creatures.
Those humans remind us of us. After all, they are mammals with herd instincts just like our own. They run around under the illusion that they are "intelligent". They "burrow" themselves into a hole in order to build solid communities of prosperity. They overbreed, go crazy, and start a stampede ....
How did this investigation into the lemming-human connection start?
Someone on one of the peak oil sites wrote of their attempt to communicate with fellow creatures about Peak Oil
"Their eyes glazed over," is the way that poster explained it. That got me started. Why? Why do their eyes glaze over? That is one of the questions this web blog explores.
Lemmings are we.
On the Morning after "Nutcracker" Magic, the eye blinks open wondering if it was merely a dream, or more so, a well scripted stage show whose splendor now shatters like brittle ice crystals struck by a rising day's sun.
Some say America is Awakening.
The Shock and Awe of 9/11 is gone.
Fear of Fear has become just a tiresome Clockwork of so many Codes Orange and Red rather than a dazzling rainbow of post-storm hallucinations.
The bullhorn pulpit is gone.
A spotlight shines instead on missions promised but not accomplished.
So many billions gone and nothing to show for it.
America realizes she had been in the grips of a Manic Manipulator.
Now the seductive shackles of blind faith in a resolute leader come undone. We ask ourselves. "What have we wrought? Have we become the Destroyer of World?"
Preemptively do onto thy neighbors
Before they doo ith a thing onto you
Forgive them oh Higher Father
For they know not what I do.
(But I know what they do,
For I spy'eth secretly upon them.
Executive privilege you know,
Is only for us executively privileged.)
Let him who is stoned
Cast the first bunker buster
The meek and the weak
Shall inherit their own back cheek
(IOW, the poor always get sh*t)
Give onto Caesar,
That which is Caesar's.
Give onto me,
That which thou gave'th to Caesar.
For we are the ownership society,
And to us belong'eth dominion over the whole of the Earth.
Blessed are the PeaceMakers,
For they carry one heck of a payload.
Although often mis-labeled as the "Festival of Lights"
The Jewish Holiday of Hanukkah is actually a Story about Oil
It lasted. It lasted way longer than it was supposed to.
But on the Eighth Octet, it was gone. There was no ninth inning miracle.
Let us pray for long lasting miracles.
