Saturday, June 30, 2007

Huff and Puff and Make the Stuff Flow

Two delusional posts of today caught our attention here at the Lemming Institute of Grandiose Human Thinkfoolery (The LIGHT).

First there is this one over at the Huff and Puff Ranch. Esteemed scientist and commodities honcho Raymond Learsy assures his fellow humanoids that the oil will gush forever. He does so with compelling ad hominen attacks:

When I speak of the "fabricated drama of peak oil" I am referring to the oft repeated and over heated claim that the end is "near" even as the nearness of "near" continues to drift just out of reach. Yes, there are oil fields that are diminishing. And if the peakist miss the point, yes, they once panned gold in California, and they once pumped oil in Pennsylvania. But new oil is to be found, and is being found throughout the globe and made increasingly accessible by innovations in exploration and technology from deepwater fields in the Gulf of Mexico, Cambodia, Africa, China, India, offshore Sakhalin, the marginally tapped Canadian oil sands, the Venezuelan Orinoco deposits, our Western shale oil, our currently offlimit offshore and Alaskan deposits, and of course the potential buried in the Artic and the enormous potential of a peaceful Iraq whose oil resources, were they ever to be fully developed, could conceivably challenge those of Saudi Arabia. The list could go on. With past history as example of the tenuousness of predicting reserves, in 1970 OPEC members supposedly had 412 billion barrels of oil. In the thirty subsequent years they pumped 307 billion barrels and, lo and behold, then claimed 819 billion barrels in reserve. That amount has increased substantially with Saudi Arabia's recently revised figures of available reserves. In this case it seems the more you produce the more you have.

Come again? The more you produce the more you have? Does this unifying theorem of everything apply to BS? Obviously it does. And you Mr. Learsy are the Ghawar of BS. (By the way Mr. Resources Expert, the contraction for "it is" comes with an apostrophe before the s; it's, not its. Example: It's true that everything you said smells of its own emanations.)

The second corpulent flow of gushing bombastickness comes once again from the Huff and Puff Dude Ranch and Methane Production Center. In this piece of human thinkfoolery, Mr. Gregerman instructs his species mates to go out there and "innovate" like there is no tomorrow.

So before you lament that "geniuses" aren't hanging out at the water cooler or by the coffee pot at your office, take heart in a very different view of the world of innovation and the potential of your company or organization to prosper in the future. Because, whether you realize it or not, you are literally surrounded by geniuses and brilliant ideas and your challenge is to get off your individual and collective butts to unlock them. (And even if you're not convinced that all of your colleagues are geniuses, remember that half of them are "above average.")

OKee Dokee. We'll hang onto that deep think thought. By necessity it tell us that half (yes 50%) of the loonies at the insane asylum are "above" average. So let's say we have 5 inmates in one Human Thinkfoolery Institute with respective IQ's of:
10, 15, 20, 25 and 80.
The average IQ is therefore 30.
And clearly half of this population of five loonies is up there in the "above average" category according to Innovation Mastermind, Mr. Gregerman.
No wonder the human race is going places. We are happy to remain as ourselves, deep digging Lemmings --always burrowing our way towards prosperity. We pray that one day soon, and for the sake of you humanoids as well as the Planet, evolution will shift your chimp driven brains towards rational thinking.

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