Monday, December 26, 2005

Christmissed Messages


Preemptively do onto thy neighbors
Before they doo ith a thing onto you

Forgive them oh Higher Father
For they know not what I do.
(But I know what they do,
For I spy'eth secretly upon them.
Executive privilege you know,
Is only for us executively privileged.)

Let him who is stoned
Cast the first bunker buster

The meek and the weak
Shall inherit their own back cheek
(IOW, the poor always get sh*t)

Give onto Caesar,
That which is Caesar's.
Give onto me,
That which thou gave'th to Caesar.
For we are the ownership society,
And to us belong'eth dominion over the whole of the Earth.

Blessed are the PeaceMakers,
For they carry one heck of a payload.

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Sermon from the Mouth

Ask not, ... Whether I can spy on you.

Ask whether you can

spy more on each other
(For sake of Your country and Before "They" do it to you).
(Think spying is bad? Nah. Don't think, Just do it [hat tip])

It is a far far better place ...
I take you to
Than yee have ever known.

It is far far better
peace I bring to you
than you dare to RIP upon yourselves.

Succumb not to the checks and balancing of the books.
Fuzzy math shall be your undoing.

Trust only in me.
I am the salvation.

I take you from the valley of Terrorism,
And bring you to the Mountain top of National Security.

I take you from the edge of Rejectionism,
And bring you to the safe landing of Global Economy.

Though you walk in the despair of Unemployment and Defeatism,
You shall have no fear,
For the Noble Cause is your destiny.

Do not let yourself become marginalized
along the road kill sidelines of History.

Do not let yourself become damned
by the Sad Damn (Who's Osama-oops Insane) truth.

There is only one truth.
I am the truth.
I am the law.
I am the glory.
I am your victory.
I am the mission acomplished.

Yes, you are in the last throes
of any rational thought.
Though verily you continue to question.

Fear yes my mixed messages for they shall set free your minds
From their bonds of rationality,
From their love of life and compassion for family.
I am your family.
The Republican State is your family.
We are United, Unquestionable and Indivisible.
Our life style is non-negotiable.
Our way is the way of all mankind.
God bless and God keep
(me in power).
Good Night and Amen.

Friday, December 16, 2005



School- yard


when he played with other Little Lemmin,

At the ole Element-Tree Institute
for young vermin,

George Jumpsoon was TERRIFIED

George was TERRIFIED of being called names.

He did not like it at all
when the head mistress called him a:


He did not like it at all
when the flat earth lemmlings called him a:


He did not like it at all
when the muscle boy called him a:

Girlie Lemm who cuts and runs like a coward.

George showed them all.
He joined the Ledge Edge Para-Jump Corps.
They practiced and practiced until their reaction
was a mindless matter of leader satisfaction.

When the Great Sitting Bush leader said "Geronimo !"
George was the first to Go.

No one called him names after that.
They simply honored his memory.

... everytime there was a veteran's day sale that is ....

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Are you a RejectionNIST?

Hard enough it is to know if you are a Commie-Neck Nay-Bob

But how to tell if you are a Rejection-NIST?

NIST, as you know, is the National Institute of Standard Science and Technology

(1) IF you think that Global Warming is a Liberal Plot to stop Free Markets from exercising their legal dominion over Oil and Coal THEN YOU SIR are a RejectionNIST

(2) IF you think that _________ THEN YOU SIR are a RejectionNIST

Purifying the Dens of Infidelity

Islemm Allah is a simple, peaceful and humble lemming. He devoutly prays 5 times a day. He keeps himself clean. He wears white to prove his purity. He always stays away from temptuous she-lemms who seek to foul his immortal soul.

Recently it has been learned that infidels were spotted in the heartland of the faith. Islemm Allah has made a holy pledge to purify the dens of such infidelity.

Islemm Allah is a simple, peaceful and humble lemming. He devoutly prays 5 times a day. ...

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Snatching Da Feet

In the cold commercial bluster
of Christmas next,
the Lost Lamb a human,
Cindy Crawford She-hen,
wanders the Earth
still in search of the "Noble Cause".

Where is it President? she begs.
The "Noble (Santa) Cause"?

Why did my begotten son die?
Is there no longer a Jolly White Knight
in the Unblemished North Pole
for us to believe in?
Has our DC Camelot become a Bizarro-world Cabaret?

GW keeps the deep dark answer under bulge.

Cowards, you see, are the ones who "Cut and Run". They become "marginalized" from the herd.
Only them who are Patriots act with courage and fearlessness.
The fearless ones give their right foot and then some for "The Cause".
(Santa's Cause)
Fearless moms take their sons back with pride and honor.
Unquestioning pride if the son comes back with no feet.
Unquestioning pride if the son comes back just as a pair of feet.
That you see ......
Is how we pull victory, oh glorious, from the jaws of the feet.
Did I mix message that one wrong way around?
Thinking is hard hard work.
Presidents don't do dumb stuff like that.
We have minions to do the fuzzy fuzz work of thinking.
Maybe we pull da feet from the jaws of the victor?

No biggie. The answer lies not under the flag draped box.

It lies elsewhere.

Nobility is as Nobility does.

Nobility starts on third base
and always rounds the cut corners
to get to its owning owner's
Home Sweet Home base.

Be at Peace Oh ig Noble ones.

Friday, December 02, 2005

Eco-Nomy iz Bea-u-tiful, War und Terror Bea-u-tiful, Every-ting Be-a-you-tiful

Vell-kommen, Bien-venue, Welcome!

Fremde, Etranger, Stranger.

Gluklich zu sehen, je suis enchante,

Happy to see you,

Bleibe, reste, stay.

Vill-kom-in, Bien-Venue, Welcome.

I'm Cabaret, au Cabaret, to Cabaret !

Leave you troubles outside!

So - life is disappointing?

Forget it!

We have no troubles here!

Here life is beautiful...

The girls are beautiful...

Even the orchestra is beautiful!

Outside it is winter.

But in here it's so hot.

Every night we have to battle with the girls to keep them from taking off all their clothings.

So don't go away.

Who knows? Tonight we may lose the battle!

We are here to serve you! And now presenting the Kit Kat Boys: Here they are! Boobby! Victor! Or is it Victor! and Bobby... You know, there's really only one way to tell the difference... I'll show you later. Hans (Oh Hans, go easy on the sauerkraut!) Herrman (You know what's funny about Herrman?) (There's nothing funny about Herrman!) And, finally, the toast og Mayfir, Fraulein Sally Bowles!

You have to understand the way I am, Mein Herr. A tiger is a tiger, not a lamb. Mein Herr. You'll never turn the vinegar to jam, Mein Herr. So I do... What I do... When I'm through... Then I'm through... And I'm through... Toodle-oo! Bye-Bye, Mein Lieber Herr. Farewell, mein Lieber Herr. It was a fine affair, But now it's over. And though I used to care, I need the open air. You're better off without me, Mein Herr.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Cunning Linguistic Politicking

The mammal- ian brain is open to suggestive program- ming by Cunningly-Crafted Language, Lies and Ideaological Imagery.

No wonder then that the corp.-passionate president of the humans displays himself in a 100% supportive room of dark-colored shirts despite 70% opposition by the general herd.

No wonder that he casts a terrorizing shadow called "The Enemy" and then projects subtext shadows of non-existant, "Sad-damn-ists", "Reject-a-nists" and "TERRROR-ists".

Fear and uncertainty are fodder for the mix messaged brain. The drums of war beat loudly and yet the humans see not its approach.

They march again lockstep towards the ledge.