Thursday, December 21, 2006

Blink Think --A way to know not what you know not

Stop and think about it for a moment.

Each time you blink your eyes, you cut yourself off visually from the exterior world (typically for about 0.3 seconds) --you put yourself in the dark.

And yet you are not aware of it. Your brain fills in the gaps. It morphs from one frame to the next without you being consciously aware that this has happened.

In one sense this is wonderful. Your brain is automatically taking care of many monotonous tasks that would otherwise impede with normal living.

Sometimes, however, this automatic management can be harmful.

An online psycho-analyst by the screen name of "Peak Shrink" asks, "What was your reaction the first time you heard about Peak Oil?"

My answer is, I can't remember.

I can't remember the "first" time. There is only a fuzzy Deja Vu feeling that I had seen Hubbert's curve before. This is so because it is probable that my Blink Think brain took care of the event automatically. It quickly rejected the notion of TEOTWAWKI and washed it out of memory. It must have happened sometime in the 1970's after The Club of Rome announced its results, or during the 1973 oil shock perhaps. I can't remember.

When the 1970's alarm bell rang, so-called expert pundits quickly emerged from the wood works to allay any concerns. "Chicken Little has been wrong every time," they announced. "Trust us. We're experts."

My Blink Think brain sprang into action. That sounds like "sound logic", it said. It erased all memory of the warnings.

The next incident was in the early 1980's, another oil shock. "We've been here before," the pundits announced. "Trust us. We're experts."

My Blink Think brain went into action again. That was true last time, sound logic from mouths that sound good. It erased all memory of the warnings.

It wasn't until around 2004 that a new warning caught my eye between blinks. Mathew Simmons popped out on the TV screen between snap action surfs. "...horizontal drilling techniques ..." he was saying.

Wha ??? What's that? Tech talk? Brain like tech talk. Wait. Hold that button on the remote! Let's listen in ....

He was talking about the big oil fields in Saudia Arabia, about Ghawar and others. Names I hadn't heard before. He was talking about "third generation" extraction techiniques. He was trying to desparately warn us about something.

Of course back then I did not have the Edge-occasion to understand what he was saying. Nonetheless, it caught me between blinks.


Saturday, November 18, 2006

PoCo --HiO, a Serenade to the Crude Colored Moon

(Any connection between characters depicted herein and actual above ground realities is purely your imagination)

Petroleum Professor Ichabod Cranebrain Yergin was poking around the Ohio backwoods one lonely evening, wondering and pondering over certain above-ground contingencies.

A parabolic moon shot silvery shadows from surrounding hilltops and out along the foggy track before him like so many elongated coins rolling just out of reach. He yearned to grasp their meaning. However, an unexpected headwind flapped across his ears at the moment, cutting short his monetary rumminations. "Poke-Ohio" is what the wind seemed to whisper into the over-oiled drums of his ears. The event rattled his nerves somewhat.

To ease his upset, he began to whistle a calming CERA-nade (pronounced "serenade"). Its enchanting lyrics spoke of a boundless Arizona Mesa (a raised plateau of sorts) that lifts out of the desert and fills to its top with undulating waves of wealth and resources. It was a happy tune, one that raises the spirits even when troubling shadows foretell of a time of want. It was a chant oft used by the Suv-aJo Indians of Arizona in their native CERA-monies.

Just beyond a Peakedshale tree, he thought he spied the lurid shape of a young Indian maiden. Her spirited figure seemed to beckon, "Follow on this way my heron-necked friend." Her almost naked form slipped forward into the darkness. He bounded after her, accelerating down the arcing trail, wondering where she would lead him.

He pursued with cornucopian curiosity, still trying to whistle his happy times CERA-nade, perhaps a bit more haltingly and unsuredly than before.

(And as he moved ... he mouse-clicked on every image along his way. You should click here first, start the music and then hit Alt-{Tab} to get back to the unfolding story.)

A cave opened its over-arching mouth for him, laying its frothy tongue invitingly down into a slippery slope underworld. He stepped in and began sliding down, all the while thinking, no it's not a downward slip or a graceless fall from paradise, it's just an undulation from the echo chambers of my mind. Too late to step back, he realized. Shadows on the cave wall sped by, telling him he'd sometime ago been here before. He was coming face to scarface with a troubling truth, an inconvenient answer 'bout what may lie ahead.

Deeper within the subterrestrial hole he began to hear a shrill voice blowing like the wind again and scorning him for his cornucopian ways:

You think you'll own whatever Soil the Oil's in ...

The Earth is just something to prime, pump and undulate ...

But I know every rock, 'n crease, 'n feature,
Has a lie, has porosity, has a rate

You think the only people who are "people"
Are the people who lie and cheat like you
But if you walk the footsteps of an oilman
You'll find unknowable knowables you never knew you never knew

Have you ever heard the drill bite 'neath the cold crude moon?
Or asked the toiling bobcatter why he toils?
Can you sing with all the voices of the hillocks?
Can you paint with all the colors of the oils?
Can you paint with all the colors of the oils?

Come run the hidden siesmic trails of the desert
Come taste the sun-soaked liquids of the Earth
Come roll in all the riches under and around you
And for once, never wonder how to profit from their worth

The rainstorms and the rivers are my brothers
The air and stratosphere are my fresh scent
And we are all connected to each other
In a globe, in a hoop that that breaks when too far bent

Have you ever heard the oil rig groan 'neath the cold crude moon?
Or let the rig fitter tell you where he next will drill?
Can you sing with all the voices of the hillocks?
Can you paint with all the curves of logistic fill?
Can you paint with all the colors of crudeless spill?

How high will all the gushing oil more expand and grow?
If you don't linearize its trajectory, then you'll never know ...
And you'll never near sustainability 'neath the ethanol corn moon

For whether we are poor or of gold colored skins
We need to sing with all the voices of the hillocks
We need to paint with all the colors of bell shaped spins

You can own the Earth and its reserves
But what you'll own is of little worth, ... until
You can paint with all the colors of Hubbert's whims ...

(PoCO-HiO ... it means Party Of Cheap Oil ---Help! It's Over.)

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Stuck in Iraq For You, Here I Am

Stuck In The Middle With You --original lyrics

Well, I don't know why I came here tonight

I got a feelin' that something ain't right

I'm so scared in case I fail in my lines of punch
And I'm wonderin' how I'll get rid o' this ketchup stain from lunch
Clowns to left of me, Republicans to the right
Here am I stuck in Iraq with you

Yes, I'm stuck in the middle of Iraq with you
And I'm wonderin' what it is I should do
It's so hard to keep this smile from my face
Losin' control, I'm all over the place
Clowns to left of me, Republi-jokers to the right
Here am I stuck in Iraq with you

Well, we started off with nothing
And we're proud we're self-made men
And our enemies they all come a crawling
Slap knife in our backs and say
Please, please

Well, I'm stuck in the middle of Iraq with you
And I'm wonderin' what it is we should do
Is it cool to go piss on the floor?
Cut and run doesn't seem to work anymore
Clowns to left of me, Republicans to the right
Here am I stuck in the middle of Iraq with you

Well, we started off with nothing
And we're proud that we're self-made heroes
And our friends they all come on like squirrels
Slap us on the back and say
Please, mister please (vote for me)

Well, I don't know why I came here tonight
I got a feelin' that something ain't right
I'm so scared in case I fall off this podium
And I'm wonderin' how I'll get away with my bombastic tea-todiums
Clowns to left of me, Publicators to the right
Here am I stuck in the middle with you
Here I am stuck in Iraq with you
Yes, I'm stuck in the middle with you
Stuck in Iraq with you

(Yes I apologize and know we're all "Plenty Smart".)

(We were "Plenty Smart" before we got "Good 'n Dumb".)

(We voted for Fear before we cut and ran away from it.)

(Remember me in 2008)

(I'll be runnin for head of state)

(And for sure we'll still be stuck on that date)

(Stuck in Iraq with you, stuck in the middle of nothing new)

music sampler

you tube

Monday, October 23, 2006

Stake the Course

Happy Halloween.

Do not cut and run,
Until you see the Whites of their Orange Alert Eyes.
Stake your Course, oh you skeleton bones.
Prepare for the October Surprise.
The Only thing we have to fear is our fears and moans,
and .. our remorses.
Yes we will always have our lizard head bosses.
So Spike another Stake onto our Courses (corpses?).
Don't Tread on the Mosses.
Happy Halloween.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Mushroom Monday -- October Surprise






Who's Your Miss-Leader now?

Ask not

Ask NOT what you can do for your congress person






Ask what your Congress person can do for your children.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Travels of the Myopic Juice Hunter (Intermission 12a)


Every once in an epoch, Falt-Earth Friedman (NY Times editor) surprises us with an introspective analysis worthy of notice. Rather than being the usual apologist for the US President and for the American way of non-negotiable life, Tom the Tome takes us on a panoramic plummet down to Peru in this weekend's editorial, to visit the receding glaciers of Machu Piccu. He charms us into the mindset of a Peruvian corn farmer whose wilting crop worsens with each year's lessening of glacial run off. Tom even goes so far as to challenge the wisdoms of the Adam Smith religion by noting that receding water levels and shrinking crop outputs will force Peru to drill for and export more oil, thus hastening its own demise due to Global Warming.

Yes, once again the Invisible Hand guides us to the most "efficient" utilization of our depleting resources. Rest In Peace, oh you humanity.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Travels of the Myopic Juice Hunter (Chapt 11)

The sky blooms into wide open blue glory as Hero finds himself soaring with a supportive flock of like minded friends.

This is where eagles hang. No one cuts and runs. Heroes do not flinch and flee. Heroes remain loyal to the cause. Stay the course. Stick to the plan. Remain on message.

And what is the message?

Hero pauses for a listen.

They are all murmurring the same lines of prayer that he had learned so well in Edge-occasion school. It can't be wrong if they all say it is right. Can it?

The murmur of the flying crowd continues.

"The Market shall provide." "The Market shall provide." "The Market shall provide." "The Market shall provide."

"Progress is perpetual." "Progress is perpetual." "Progress is perpetual."

"Technology is our savior." "Technology is our savior." "Technology is our savior." "Technology is our savior." "Technology is our savior."

The Smith is Great.

Blessed is the Smith.

His will be done.

Here on Reality Earth as it is in Fantasy Heaven.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Travels of the Myopic Juice Hunter (Chapt 10)

Hero finds himself tumbling down a tube; a Tunnel of Visions, or a TV for short.

Along the horizontal scan line, he spies a black monolith emerging from the dusts of time. "Thus Spake Zarathustra," it says to him in flashdance bursts. "The Enlightened Millenium is upon us." Hero stares at the flashing monolith in awe. His bird brain binds to the monolith's blinding lights. His herd-again ears hang onto every captivating tone within its cacophony of remixed messages. "We shall reveal for you a most wonderous secret," it promises, "on the other side of the break."

Hero sees the monolith growing and expanding, becoming a black streak spreading itself from farm to field in a relentless chase after its own tail.

Busy bee dots swarm up to cover the enlarging black tarp. Their wheels spin furiously in a stampede like rush towards the promised land: Extopia. Gushers of Juice snake behind the dots, feeding them with life and motion, feeding the black tarp with a darkish glue that holds its gravelous rocks together. The tarp advances from mall to mall and from Sears to shining Sears.

"T'is the Trail to Eden," he murmurs. "The Invisible Hand guides our growth and guides us to an inevitable array of prosperous futures. The Markets provide us, each with his wants, each according his ability to pay. Our Technology delivers. We are negotiating our way smartly along these routes and asserting our dominion over everything, even over Mother Nature! Ours will be the glory. Blessed is the Smith."

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Travels of the Myopic Juice Hunter (Chapt 9)

Heavens, No ! Mrs. Robinson.

Hero the Graduate confronts the realities of SUV-Irbia.

"One word:" buds in a gray-hair
tea toadler,

Hero knows not what to say.

Cock a doodle do, Mrs. Robinson?

Here he stands in the confusion of Sprawl-Mart Land with hardly a grasp on the spin and balance of the place. Media attacks come from everywhere. Buy this. Shop that. Get more. Get more. Gitt mo. Help!

All his Edge-OK-shin dissolves into a diffuse background beat in the face of this on-the-edge occasion. His professors had not prepared Hero for the onslaught of the Madison Avenue and K-Street mind benders. Hero's chicken brain takes over control in this moment of fright, fear and confusion. Save us, it says. We must continue. We must persevere. Our preciousness must go on. Grab for the brass ring. Become one with Subversia. Hero faints.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Travels of the Myopic Juice Hunter (Chapt 8)


Hurray. Free at last. Free at last.

Hero has his mortar board and his certificate of Edge-OK-shin.

He is ready to tackle the "real world".

He has been duly trained in understanding what is "real" outside the walls of alma matta and what is superficial facade.

"The Invisible Hand shall guide you," assured his professors, "to engage in that are endeavorsbest both for you and for society."

Hero amazes even himself with his ability to spout the speak of the Psycho-nomic Pundits. "The gain in Spain," he repeats, "falls mainly on the vain." Absolutely brilliant.

"The Market provides."

"Ask not what the markets will do to you, ask what you can do for the markets."

"I pledge allegiance to the Invisible Hand and to the system for which it stands, one world, under Smith, indivisble, with free will and tradable options for all."

Hero marches boldly forward, towards the inmate release ramp, confident that he is armed with all the correctionalized thoughts of Chairman Smith. Fogland here I come!

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Travels of the Myopic Juice Hunter (Chapt 7)

" E a c h
m e m b e r

one area of expertise, becoming brighter and better in that one endeavor while growing ignorant about everything else," crows the teacher in delight.

Hero has a hard time understanding the "sound logic".

He dares not ask a question though. His beady bird eyes focus on the wide open spaces around each "peak of excellence".

"It is unimportant," the instructor inserts, "that each member is dumb in almost everything else because collectively our society is brilliant. Just add up all the bell curves."

Learning economics is going to be hard hard work for Hero. He still does not get the concept: Wealth from Tunnel Visions? Maybe it works for lemmings. How can it work for a c o mplex society that plans to soar to new heights? Won't certain worrisome things slip between the cracks?

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Travels of the Myopic Juice Hunter (Chapt 6)

In a blink
of a
Hero finds himself caged

in a Thought
Correct- ional

"You have free will," booms a voice from the front. "Ours is a free market where all can compete fairly and freely in pursuit of their life, liberty and happiness."

"But before you are loosed on society, we must make sure you understand the rules. Our only text is 'Wealth of Tunnel Visions' by Adam Smith. It will be your Bible. We do not mix religion with state affairs. However, by the time we are done with you, you will believe unquestionably in an 'Invisible Hand'. The Hand knows all and does good for all who worship it."

"Let us begin. Open your book to Chapter 1, Supply and Demand in an ideal marketplace ..."

Travels of the Myopic Juice Hunter (Chapt 5)

materials in hand, Hero continues deeper into the territory of Fog Land.

Without warning, a member of the Right-Stuff Thought Tanking Brigade emerges from the fog and stops Hero right in his tracks.

"Our mission is to correctionalize the thinking of all in Fog Land so that they all think the Right way," proclaims the headhardenned driver of the machine.

"We will test your thinking to make sure you have proper econo-minded thoughts framed in your head before we let you "pass", graduate, and move on with your journey," continues the controller of the Thought Tanking apparatus. "It's called an Edge-you-K-shun."

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Travels of the Myopic Juice Hunter (Chapt 4)

As he
the edge
of Fog Land,
our Myopic Hero
finally starts to under
why they
call it
Fog Land.
It is shrouded
in a low lying fog.
Here, everyone has a vision problem. They cannot see far up along the road ahead. They cannot see the extent of the precious Tree of the Life Juice. It's just guess work.

"You must be a new guest worker," opines a suspicous looking and yet smile happy stranger.
"How rude of me. Sorry. Welcome. My name is Corny Porcupian. Welcome to my home country. Welcome to Fog Land. Here everything is bea-u-tiful. No? The Tree she is bea-u-tiful. Our future, it is bea-u-tiful. We have always had acces to The Prize, to our precious Juice of Life, and it will go on for ... well, basically forever. Think of it as a Bottomless Well."

Hero is stunned.
As far out as his myopic powers let him see, a sea of ladders stretch across the visible ground, each rigged to go high up into the dense fog, to access another part of the unseen tree.

Everything he had imagined was wrong. The natives had not surveyed the full scope of the juice-giving tree in detail. Instead they climbed up their rigs wherever they could, and if lucky, they brought down all they could grab from a low-lying branch.

"What happens when the low lying branches start to run down?" Hero asks.

"Oh that will never happen," quips Corny Porcupian. "Gloomers and doomers have been predicting that we will run out of Juice for hundreds of years. They have been wrong every time and they will continue to be wrong. Malthus was wrong. The famines never came because technology saved the day. Hubbert (a Juice oriented gloomer) will also be wrong. Technology will come through as it always does and help us to extract ever greater amounts of Juice from the Tree practically forever.

Hero says nothing. He thinks to himself, "Why is this cornucopian grinning fool all so eager to meet me at the frontier edge of Fog Land and bend me towards the cheerful view of life? Every bird brain knows that no tree climbs to the sky and beyond. Why is Corny Porcupian so yearning to give me the false impression that the Tree is without limit and that the juice will flow forever? Who pays him to do this? What is their goal?"

Friday, May 05, 2006

Travels of the Myopic Juice Hunter (Chapt 3)

No doubt,

it must be

like this,

He imagined.

With only this one Tree of the Life Juice available, the folk who have dominion over the tree must have taken extreme measures of care and planning.

They must have scoped out the full limits of the tree. There would be only so many branches and only so much removable fruit on each branch.

They would take carefully from the tree only after having fully justified the depletion of this wonderous resource. Surely they would not be like drunken madmen and grab heedlessly everything they could get their hands on without nary a care for what happens when it is all gone.

Sunday, April 30, 2006

Travels of the Myopic Juice Hunter (Chapt 2)

Nearsighted as he might be, our Myopic Hero was unfazed.

He committed all his resources to a journey that would take him to the Land of the Fog, to find the mythical Tree of the Life Juice.

As he walked, he noticed the geological formations below his web-toed feet.

Mother Nature, it seems had followed a strange pattern. There were rocks of all sizes, large and small. However, the largest of the large never seemed to exceed a certain size. And for every large there were many more smalls.

Why even a bird brain could understand that once all the largest marbles had been removed from the pool there would only remain the smaller of the geological formations. And once the the bigger of those remainders were removed, there would only remain the smaller of what Mother Nature had created.

It was a simple truth. He was still a long way off from the crazed frenzy of Fog Land. This basic concept seemed clear as a desert oasis to our intrepid voyager. Soon, however, he would forget himself as he fell into the drunken world of the Life Juice.

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Travels of the Myopic Juice Hunter



in the


our Myopic Hero

stumbles upon a stranger with wonderous tales. He speaks of an elixir that gives one ever lasting power. It is called the Juice of Life. It comes in flavors, sweet and sour. Those who posses it attain great powers, abilities to transport almost instantly to far away places, abilities to work large farms with a single hand, in short to enjoy a life style that soon becomes non-negotaible.

But where to find this wonderous juice, asks our short of vision voyager.

A tree, answers the wise stranger.
It roots in the Land of the Fog. There is only one such tree and all who know of it seek it out to satiate their ever growing thirst.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Pushed & Pulled into the Fib Pit Once Again

They mis-led us about their Cause 'a Bellie (reason for war) the last time around. Remember their WMD Intelli-flops and flips? Remember their We'll-be-met-with Showers-of-Flowers fibs? Remember Colin Powell's UN show & tell? Remember Valerie Plame? Remember Niger Yellowcake?

Now they deceive us again.

This time their deceptions and diversions spin about our so-called "Pain o' the Pump".

They suggest a conspiracy of greedy oil giants. They point to evil foreigners who withhold the goodies from us or take what is rightfully ours.

They play the partisan pull-me push-you game. All to keep you away from knowing what is really happening on the global scale. Global production is falling behind. Global demand is leaping ahead. --Production will never catch up with Demand again. We are rolling over the peak and falling into the downhill abyss.

The politicians are forever suckering us deeper into the tar pits with misdirects and misleads.

Learn the deeper truth here at The Oil Drum

Monday, April 24, 2006

Seeing is Believing


To control the ape brain,

One needs to control what it sees.

Hide the unpleasant pictures.

Flash the enobling ones.

Nobility is, as nobility shows itself.

Do not gaze on the image below.
It is a hoax.
Fabricated by unpatriotic traitors.
By those
who refuse to see
that freedom is on the march.
Them who did not cut and run,
now lay proud, free and noble.
Dare not criticize them who made the ultimate sacrifice,
or those who gave them the opportunity to do so.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Sad is when you make me look Bad

See my minion smile.

His resignation is now
on file.

He failed to make me look good.

So leave he must for sake of nationhood.

I am the Decider man.

In other words, doing the hard decisions as best I can.

These are hard hard times.

Thank Higher'd Father for the guy that writes my rhymes.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Make Me Look Good

Image is Position in our Pyramid Scheme Society.

At every station up along the Triangles of Power there stands a Lord who bades his or her minions to make the Leader Look Good, or else.

Bad news does not shine a politically proper kind of spotlight in the Leader's throne room.

Bad news, real as it may be, is to be buried, denied and denegrated.

Cornucopian news, false as it might be, is to be blared with bubbly enthusiasm from every bullhorn in the Leader's realm.

"Make me look good" is all that counts.

So what if a catastrophe of epic proportions threatens the Kingdom? So what if the coffers are spent beyond all measure of rational exuberance? So what if the armies are meeting with defeat after defeat? So what if the economy is faltering? So what if the liquid of power is running dry? Ours is not to question. Ours is not to be disloyal. Ours is to bow in awe of that shining image on the top of the Hill.

We sure know how to bow to false but authoritative images.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Chicken Little Bumps into Mr. Ostrich Head

The concept of Chicken Little (CL) confronting Mr. Ostrich Head (MOH) comes from Anthropik here

Not discussed is the risk v. reward equation. Let's say there are equal chances that CL and MOH are right. If MOH is right and we panic & spend money trying to fix a problem that is not there, well then we are out of that amount of money. If CL is right and we DON'T panic & spend money trying to fix the problem, then we pay the price of the sky falling on our head. Which is worse?

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Three Amigos Ride Again

Legend has it that a great civilization once existed where only these ruins remain.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

The Spiral of Life

In the Beginning,

There was Fire.

And the Humans saw it as Good.

Their civilization grew and spiraled outwards.

Overtaking forest and brush.

And on the second Day they discovered Coal.

The Humans saw that it was better.

On the Third Day they found oil.

Their numbers spiraled to astronomical numbers.

3 Billion, 6 Billion, 12 ... to the moon and beyond.

And then, on the Fourth Day, the Oil began petering out.

There came onto them a prophet of salvation from the North

Speaking of wonderous sands.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

LaLa #3--Best Musical

To tune of: Ghostbusters (1984)

Turn the Beat on ON (here real.player)


Doh doh duh, Do,
Dubya, Dubya; Boo!


If there's somethin' strange in your GLOBAL hood
Who ya gonna call?

If it's somethin' crony an' it don't look good
Who ya gonna call?
...Republo-busters !!!

(Doh duh do Do,
Dubya, Dubya Boo!)

I ain't afraid a no Republi-cyst
I ain't no Republi-poligist

If you got mixed messages spinnin' thru your head
Who's gonna be fair?
... Republi-busters !!!

An' Invisible Hand sleepin' in your bed
Oh! Who can ya tell?

(Doh doh duh dah Do,
Dubya, Dubya Dubya, Boo!)

I ain't afraid a no Republi-cyst
I ain't afraid a no Republo-mist

Who ya gonna tell?

If you're all alone, pick up the phone
An call .... (republi-busters)

I ain't no Misagno-NIST
Ooh I hear they like the girls
I ain't afraid a no Republi-pissed
Yeah Yeah Yeah

(Doh duh Do,
Dubya, Dubya Boo!)

Who you gonna call? (republi-busters)
Mm…if you have republo-problems mister
Freaky Republi-bribe or corruption problems sister
You better call .... Republi-busters!!!

Ow wooo!!!

(clink clang jail door bang
catch 'em, jail 'em, dang)

Bustin' makes me feel good ...mmm
Oh yeah

(Doh duh Do,
Dubya, Dubya Boo!)

I ain't afraid a no Republi-cyst
I ain't afraid a no Republo-fear-an-mist

Don't get caught alone,
oh no
… republi-busters!

When they comes through your door
Unless you just want more ...
I think you better call ... republi-busters
Ooh... who you gonna trust? (republi-busters)
Who gonna do your bust? (republi-busters)
Ah, I think you better call (republi-busters)
I can't hear you…
Who you gonna call? (republi-busters)
Louder! (republi-busters)
Who can you call? (republi-busters)
Who do you tell? ...republi-busters …
How ya gonna rid that smell? (repeat through fade)

Friday, March 03, 2006

LaLa #2: BrokeFEMA Mountain Award

A bunch of good'ole boys take their fishing-for-answers gear up to the situation room.

They claim they was in there all that time fishing for answers.

They weren't fishin' for right answers. They were coddling and cronying up with each other. They were incompententating with each other. It's disgusting what they was doing.

The Lemming Appreciation of Leadership Award (LaLa #2) in the category of "leadership unbecoming" goes to Brownie, Bushie and Cherrytoffy for conduct above and beyond BrokeFEMA Mountain. Unfortunately they cannot accept the award tonight because they're at it again. Here to recieve the award on their behalf is Scott McLietellin. Come on up Scott and get your come up'ins.

Monday, February 27, 2006

LaLa Traitor-to-the-Course Award

Nominations are coming in for the LaLa's.

(Lemming Appreciation of Leadership Awards)

This category is for anti-leadership, for not staying the course.

To understand why George Clooney deserves it, go here

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Their Tongues Were Wailing God

In our prosperous lemming holes there are many who wail the name of God.

You humans may find kinship with some of our worshipping brothers.

Take for example those of our lemm-folk who worship Alla-Lemm AchBear. They say that the God inside their mind is the one and only possible God. There can be no other. All lemmings must obey his word or perish. The name and image of his holy prophet, Moe-had-Lemm must never be disrespected. If they sense anything that smells of disrespect, they go into a wild rage, burning things and caving in other lemming's tunnels. It is the will of their God.

Another faction of our Lemming Brotherhood worships Jee-Lemm Christopher and claim that he, rather than Moe-had-Lemm is the true prophet of God. The Jee-Lemm worshippers have a God who is shaped differently from the one and singular Alla-Lemm AchBear. The Jee-Lemm God has three heads. His follwers call the triune heads: The Paternal, The Offspring and The Holy Spirit. Jee-Lemm was the Offspring. You can't see or touch The Holy Spirit. You just got to believe.

Sometimes the Jee-Lemm worshippers go on "Holy" Crusades against the followers of Alla-Lemm AchBear. Sometimes the followers of Moe-had-Lemm go on "Holy" Jihads against the worshippers of Jee-Lemm. As they go about killing each other and destroying the world, their tongues wail the name of God.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Pondering the Plundering of the Ports

He who brought you Atta-Boy Brownie once again asks you to trust him by looking deep into his compassion-filled blues eyes.

He knows goodness when he sees it.

He knows that it is "GOOD" to shut American and British companies out from servicing "our" ports.

He knows that it is "GOOD" to invite into the hen house the Islamo-foxes who swear there is no God but their God and they will kill us if we do not unconditionally accept Allah (blessed be his name).

He knows that it is "GOOD" to ponder plentifully the plundering of our ports.

In Bush we trust. All others pay homage to his holy name. Amen.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Feathery Friends

Birds of a same feather, it is said, flock together.

Some birds meet at the watering hole.

We have a Grand Old Party Time.

Ya all drop down now. Hear?

Saturday, February 11, 2006

"Stay the Course" LaLa --Part II

In our history-wide search for

The Lemming Idol,

for the "Stay the Course" leader
who most deserves the coveted prize, namely,
the Lemming Appreciation o' Leadership Award
(the LaLa), we came upon a fundamental truth:
The Lead to the Ledge is not a function of the "Who",
but rather of the Times and of the Missed Turns along the Road of History.

Almost all Leaders are "Stay the Course" ones.

It is those who by ill chance, fall into the lead just as the course of history hits an inflection point, who become acursed.
It is they who must bear the "Mark of Cain", the "blame" for having been a bad leader in a time of "crisis", when in truth almost all leaders would have done the same.

It was not Cain's fault that he saw not the shift
away from a man-powered vegeterian life style
(being a tiller of the soil, a life style he considered "non-negotiable")
to an alternate life style that his rancher brother, Abel, was adopting.

No wonder that Cain became enraged with jealousy when the animal-powered, rancher life-style (sheep herding) outdid the old ways of the soil tiller. Cain had missed an inflection point in the marketplace. He lashed out in the only way he knew how. He liquidated some of his human assets. And for that he was punished with the fickle pointing finger of "blame", with the Mark of Cain forever imprinted as his exclusive trademark.

(The real Abel, by the way did not disappear. He came out of bankruptcy under a new trade name, Seth. The Sethians flourished. They domesticated yet more of the beasts beyond just the sheep. They learned to work with copper and iron. They yoked the oxen and bade them to do all manner of man's work. In time, the beasts of burden were replaced by a petro-powered progeny that made the children of Cain, Abel and Seth more "productive" than they had ever been before. They felt as if they had gained "dominion" over the earth and the sky. Dazzled by their own brilliance, by the unbounded power of an Abel human mind, they were ready to rocket on to new conquests. They had lost sight of where all the energy had come from. Their self-esteeming inner light blinded them from seeing the next inflection point (the "Peak") a coming their way. It deluded them into belieivng that the marketplace, the worship of a Smithian God, will always provide. None was his brother's keeper and each clawed and tunneled only for his own self gain. But that is a story for another day.)

It is only the rare and brilliant leader who realizes we are at a point of inflection in the affairs of things and who can turn the herd and guide them away from the cliff.

And what, we ask you, is the reward of such a leader? The herd barely notices. Fame goes to those who lead the glorious charge over the ledge, to Pearl Harbor and beyond. Glory comes to those who edge the millions to their deaths under the guise of an "unavoidable" war against an "evil" enemy, or a "catastrophic" turn of events that no one could have foreseen, not even Cassandra.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Lemming Leadership Award Categories

Tis the season to hand out awards.

The humans worship their Great Pretenders (a.k.a. "actors"). Soon they will be passing out golden ape statues (a.k.a. "Oscars") to each other for having fooled themselves into believing that something fake (staged) is actually real. It is the ultimate achievement of the human brain to celebrate fakery, delusion and denial in such magnificent style. We lemmings applaud them.

Not to be out done, we hand out Lemming Appreciation of Leadership Awards.

The Golden Rodent statue is not passed out on whim or whip of a tail. Each category deserves great consideration before we acknowledge a ledge mate who has led the charge for glory and a new dawn (or for a cliff down or a river drown).

Categories for LALA's (Lemming Appreciation o' Leadership Awards) are many. Most coveted is the STC-LALA: the "Stay The Course"-Lemming Appreciation o' Leadership Award.

We lemmings are very egalaterian. Any human, animal or extra-terrestrial, who led a large portion of his/her species toward the edge or beyond can qualify for a "Stay the Course" LALA. There are so many worthy candidates to choose from, past, present and fictional.

Nominations are now open and subdivided among a number of important categories: (1) Politicians, (2) Cult Leaders, (3) Biblical Figures, (4) Business Leaders (5) Entertainment Leaders, and (6) TBD: To Be Determined

Monday, February 06, 2006

Evolution of the Herd / Mob Instinct

There was a time when the human species was small in population and faced attack from predatory animals.

Evolution then favored those who possesed genes that fostered the Herd / Mob instinct.

The weak and isolated apes would gather into a frenzied mob and hurl stones at the attacking carnivore.

Had each primate engaged in rational thought about danger to the self, the mob would have never formed. Evolution found a way to reward those whose genes allowed mob mentality to override rational thought.

That was then. This is now.

We see in the picture to the right, a mob of humans attacking Egyptian police officials because a ferry sank and loved ones were lost in February 2006. The mob attack will not bring the loved ones back. The mob attack will not drive away predatory carnivores.

And yet it is there. Deeply etched into the makeup of the human critters.

Genes that once worked to preserve the species now drive it over the edge.

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Wowo Wee ! Only Lemmies Stampee-d

According to an updated Forbes report, at least 73 of the human creatures have been counted as dead.

It was the desire for private wealth, for winnning the WOWwo WEE lottery that drove them into the maddening frenzy.

Meanwhile, in another story relating to human over population, the chase for survival and for earning a living in this mad, mad world, the British Telegraph reports over 1000 human critters killed in mass drowning incident. We Lemmings empathize with you humans. Many of us die in stampedes, mass drownings and other over-the-ledge runs for survival's sake. I guess we share many attributes, no?