Thursday, January 26, 2006

State of the Neo-Con Fusion State

I appreciate ya all came here ta hear talk bout the state of our Union. I looked inta the eyes of our Union and Ah found goodness there. So it's good. It's all good. Those of ya that got more improtant things ta do now, like catching the latest Nascar race scores, well ya can get along now dogs cause I already told ya it's all good. I do this under my inherent and unitary powers as Commander and Chief of the Universe. So when I speak, ya know it's basically as good as God speakin ta ya all. I appreciate that you took time to listen and the Higher Father appreciates it too. Now I also appreciate that some of you might not fully appreciate it when I tell you everything is good. Some of you might have unpatriotic thoughts about our victory in Iraq. Some of you might have uncountryman-like thoughts about our handling of Katrina. Some of you might unconstitutionally question my picks for the Supreme Court. Sure we have had some tough times, but the State of our Union is getting better all the time. These are opportunities and I aim to take advantage, to spend my political capital on these opportunities. I aim to challenge TERROR-IZM wherever it rears it's ugly head. Behind you. See? I made you look. Deep in your heart of hearts you know the fear lurks there. Karl told me to take advantage of your most primitive fears and I appreciate what Karl says. I see TERROR-IZM. I see TERROR-IZM everywhere. Seeing TERROR-IZM everywhere is good fur ya. It sharpens the mind and dulls the wit. We've got to be united and strong in our world wide fight aginst all this TERROR-IZM. We've got to have a coalition of the willing and the patriotic to stand up to all this TERROR-IZM. We are the YOU-KNIGHTED STATES of AM-erica and we will not be pushed around. We will find TERROR-IZM wherever we choose to find it and we will preemptivley strike out against the TERROR-IZM over there so we don't have to fight it over here. All this is logic pure and simple. I appreciate that some of ya think yar intellectuals. Some of ya think yar smarter than me. John Kerry thought he was smarter than me. But he hadn't played Cowboys and Intellectual Heads against me. He didn't realize that he was going to vote for me after he thought he voted against me. He should of talked to my friends at Diebold. They would of told him. So you see my friends. The Sate of Union is good. Good Night and God Bless (me).


Anonymous said...

The more definitive State of the Union speech is here (video)

Anonymous said...

New York Time's Friedman version of the SOTU speech

Impossible? Read my lips: Nothing is impossible when Americans put their hearts and minds to it.

One last thing: I have accepted the resignation of Vice President Dick Cheney, who felt he could not be a salesman for the Energy Freedom Act. I am nominating Jeffrey Immelt - the C.E.O. of General Electric, who has focused G.E.'s innovation around "eco-imagination" - as Mr. Cheney's replacement.

Good night, and God bless America.

head lem said...

Damn, I was wrong. He did not say "appreciate" even once.

Official speech here

Number of times mentioned:
"oil" = 3 times (3x)
"energy" = 8x
"ethanol" = 2x

"terror" = 20x
"must" = 20x
"enem[y]"= 8x
"intelligence" = 1x ... hmm
"only" = 11x
"course" [stay the] = 0
"course" [math and that other fuzzy stuff] = 2x