Sunday, November 13, 2005

Element-Tree Education

Fred FlintStem is a rock solid member of our Lemming Lodges.

He knows what he knows.

He knows what his five common senses prove to him to be the truths of this Universe.

Just as there are 5 common senses, there are 5 elements: Earth, Sky, Fire, Water and Trees. It is elementary. Every Element-Tree School graduate knows it. We hold these truths to be self evident.

The Earth, of course, is our home and source of mineral wealth.

The Sky is a pie-in-the-eye dream.

Of the last three, the most important are the Trees. Without trees there would be no Fire. Without trees, the rain Waters would flood our Labyrinths of Prosperity.

Fred heard rumors of a Terrifying "Peak Tree" Theory. Someone said we might soon start running low on trees. Fred scampered up to the top of his hole and perched himself on his hind feet. He looked. He listened. He smelled.

His trusty snout smelt the succulent odor of fresh vegetation. It was as powerful a signal as any Petro-age Humanoid might smell when whiffing in fresh vapors at an all night gasoline station. It was still all there. The "Peak" theory was another freak story. Fred's FlintStem brain assured him that the source of life, the source of our Prosperity, would be with us for a long time. No need to worry. No need to fret. Everything is Matada.

"Stay the Course" is what our Lemming leaders tell us.

Fred is a stick-to-it guy and proud of it. In the Lemming Army he learned the Core 4C's: Commitment, Consistency, Courage, and Cooperation. Even if it seemed that the ledge loomed near, a Lemming-Trooper stays the course. The herd stays on its path. We stand our ground. It's a philosophy that has never been wrong before.

Those who profess this "Peak" freak fright stuff are not using their 5 common senses that is for sure. Any Lemming can go up top and smell the forest. Nothing like the smell of fresh palm on a Sunday morning.

No comments: