Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Our Planet Conservators Are Winning

We Lemmings have political parties pretty much of the same ilk or elk as do you humans of the WestCulture digs.

The Compassionateless Conservators among us urge for the unleashing of the mutated bird flu so that we can eradicate the planet of the human infestation and save our species as well as the Planet.

After all, it is part of our religious beliefs that Lemming-kind was given intelligence and dominion over all other life forms on Earth so that we can act as responsible stewards; so that we can protect and preserve the sentient, but regretfully less intelligent, life forms on the planet, ensuring their well being and ability to pursue happiness in whatever way they seek as long as they do not unduly trespass on the rights of other inhabitants of this shared Mother Earth O'lemm.

As some of you know, the humans have been unleashing massive amounts of carbon dioxide and other dangerous compounds into the atmosphere. At first this was not so bad because it delayed the coming of the next Ice Age. (We lemmings can handle cold weather as long as there is grass enough to chew on.) But now, the unleashing of the CO2 is getting out of hand. The humans cannot stop themselves even though some of them --not all-- understand the dire consequences of cooking the Planet a bit too much.

The more Limbic Leaning in our Burrow-hood say that humans are sentient and deserve a second chance. Maybe we can make contact with the more intelligent parts of their herd and make them see the errors of their ways. Why kill them simply because they are ignorant? Maybe they can be "educated". Maybe they can reverse course and become co-stewards of the planet rather than destroyers. We at the Lemming Institute have been working towards this goal.

Unfortunately, the Compassionateless Conservators among us are winning the political battle. Today they crow about how the humans are begging for the unleashing of the mutated bird flu. Our Conservators point to an esteemed human publication known as "The New York Times". They point to a Co-Conservative editor of the NYT who begs for "HOT" concentration of human creatures so that the virus can be more effectively distributed.

The same ignoramus savant, our Compassionateless Conservators point out, demonstrates that the humans will never learn science. According to the NYT biography page, this Co-Conservative editor, John Tierney, was a staff writer for the humans' "Science" magazine. But in the 8/30/2005 NYT piece by John Tierney, our Compassionateless ones crow, he proves that humans will never learn science and will never reverse their ignorant ways.

John Tierney writes: "Since S.U.V.'s and other heavy vehicles require more room to brake, they need more empty pavement between them and the next car." What kind of science savant is this? Does he not even know basic thermodynamics? Does he not know that braking distance is a function of kinetic energy (E= 1/2 m v ^2) and rate of conversion of that kinetic energy into a nonkinetic form? If this is the height of human intellect at the NYT, then our Compassionateless Conservators will win. They will convince our leaders to unleash the mutated bird flu.

If you are a semi-intelligent human, please take note. Help us to help you. Do not let such science fiction permeate among your masses. Their will be no hope if you each become a dope. We at the Lemming Institute care.

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